Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Ad Mad World

Things learned from Today's Advertisement

1. If you've a hot wife make sure your neighbor doesn't use a deodorant in your absence.

2. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications.

3. If there is no salt in your kitchen you can use Toothpaste.

4. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!

5. If your daughter is not Ready to Get married, take her to a jewelry/ textile shop.

6. Only reason why men use deodorant is to get girls.

7. Most colas cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a superman, if you drink these regularly!!

8. All superstars are so poor that they prefer to risk life for a cool drink than to purchase it for Rs:10

9. The special effects in shampoo ads are greater than special effects in Avatar.

10. Amul has better satirical cartoonists than people who make better milk products.

11. Most people buy vehicles to travel in bad roads but complain about roads in India.

12. You can't eat Dairy Milk Silk without spreading it all over you face.

13. Nobody uses motorbikes for commuting, its only to pick up girls.

14. All soaps kill 99.9% of germs.

15. People believe that Bacardi makes music CD's and Directors special/ Kingfisher make mineral water.

16. If you have got an insurance policy, your wife and children would be happy after you die.

17. Your mother would really feel great if you come home after taking a mud-bath because, Stain is good.

18. The only time mothers and daughters talk to each other, it's usually about hair oil.

19. Swapping your cellphones with your Mom or Wife can create a sense of mutual understanding.

20. Every other car is No. 1 according to their satisfied customers.

21. No matter what kind of expert one is, he'll always wear a white laboratory coat.

22. The worst thing to happen to a human being is to have dark complexioned skin.

23. A girl can become the Miss World or the next Indian Idol only if she uses a particular fairness cream.

24. You only need a deodorant with a good fragrance to approach a girl, and not the guts.

25. You will have clear skin forever, only by splashing the water on your face dramatically.

And, finally this

Mutualfundinvestmentsaresubjecttomarketriskspleasereadtheofferdocumentcarefullybeforeinvesting. (read it without any break )

Thanking You
Atul Sikrai
Chief Humour Officer
Satango Silk

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Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Monkey Business

Once upon a time in a village, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs 10. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at Rs 10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

He further announced that he would now buy at Rs 20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs 25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs 50!

However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers, "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs 35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs 50."

The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys every

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Thanking you
Atul Sikrai
Chief Humour Officer
Satango Silk

Monday, 22 October 2012

Ladki hui hai,Badhai ho !

A couple made a deal the night of their wedding to NOT open the door of their room to anybody who comes knocking in the morning for any reason.

In the morning the parents of the husband came & knocked on the door, the husband and the wife were looking at each other & as they agreed before , they didn't open the door.

After a while the ...parents of the bride came knocking at the door to check on them, the couple were looking at each other , then the bride dropped a tear and started crying , she said : "I cannot keep them knocking & not open the door, I miss them already"

The husband didn't say anything & he let her open the door for her parents.

Years passed & the couple had 5 children, the first ones were boys & the 5th was a little girl.

When she was born the father was extremely happy that god has blessed him with her, & he made a celebration for her in grand style, people were so amazed with his joy & his happiness that they asked him, why are you so happy with her more than you were before with her older brothers?

He answered simply: "She is the one who will open the door for me"

Baby girls are the comfort of the eyes of their father...

They hold the key to their mothers hearts...

Daughters are really unique. They care for their parents even after they are married...

You don't simply hear of daughters abusing their parents...

To all the daughters out there, my sincere prayer for you -

Please send this to all daughters n sons because one day they will know the value of daughters...

Its time to say

“Ladki hui hai, Badhai ho!”

Thanking You
Atul sikrai
Chief Officer
Satango Silk’

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

U Got Rejected ?

Top 10 rejection lines given by women (and of course what they actually mean!) 
1) "I think of you as a brother." - You have the sex appeal of a Franciscan monk. 
2) "There is a slight difference in our ages." - You are positively Jurassic. 
3) "I'm not attracted to you in that way." - The bulge in your trousers is just not big enough. 
4) "My life is too complicated right now." - I'm bonking seve...ral better-looking guys already. 
5) "I need some freedom to find my own space." - I want the freedom to find someone to fill my space. 
6) "I don't date men where I work." - I never date TWO men in the same office, because I'd get caught. 
7) "It's not you, it's me." - It's not me it's you! 
8) "I'm concentrating on my career." - Boring and unfulfilling as my job is, it is better than dating you. 
9) "I've decided to be celibate."- I'm already shagging someone else. 
10) "Let's be friends." - I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have Rex with!

Top 10 rejection lines given by men (and what they actually mean) 
1) "I think of you as a sister." - You're ugly. 
2) "There's a slight difference in our ages." - You're ugly. 
3) "I'm not attracted to you in that way." - You're ugly. 
4) "My life is too complicated right now." - You're ugly. 
5) "I've got a girlfriend." - You're ugly. 
6) "I don't date women where I work." - You're ugly. 
7) "It's not you, it's me." - You're ugly. 
8) "I'm concentrating on my career." - You're ugly. 
9) "I'm celibate." - You're ugly. 
10) "Let's be friends." -- You're really ugly

Keep Laughing

Always Happy to Make You Laugh !

Atul Sikrai
Chief Humour Officer
Satango Silk

Monday, 28 May 2012

I Love My India

A very Good story of our life .....
A Bitter Reality
As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in
Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the
land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it
was as if a dream had come true.
Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I
would be staying in this country for about Five years in which
time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.
My father was a government employee and after his retirement,
the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.
I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling
homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and
speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone
cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and
pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange
rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.
Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have
only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within
these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight.
Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for
all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be
talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through
all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting
shorter I was forced to select one candidate.
In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get
married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After
the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some
money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after
them, we returned to USA.
My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she
started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India
increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our
savings started diminishing.
After two more years we started to
have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us
by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked
me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.
Every year I decide to go to India… But part work part
monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting
India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a
message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I
couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The
next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there
was no one to do the last rights the society members had done
whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed
away without seeing their grand children.
After couple more years passed away, much to my children's
dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down.
I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my
savings were short and the property prices had gone up during
all these years. I had to return to the USA...
My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to
stay in India... My 2 children and I returned to USA after
promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.
Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an
American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that
had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India... I
had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a
well-developed locality.
Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is
for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife
has also left me and gone to the holy abode.
I wondered was it worth all this?
My father, even after staying in India,
Had a house to his name and I too have
the same nothing more.
I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.
Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing.
This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these
children are losing their values and culture because of it. I
get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well
at least they remember me.
Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will
be performing my last rights, God Bless them.
But the question
remains 'was all this worth it?'
I am still searching for an answer.................!!!

To Motivate others Share,Like &  Forward it....

Thanking You

Atul Sikrai

Friday, 18 May 2012

Geo Logic

The Geography of a Woman (and of a Man)

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: Gently aging, but still a warmand desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Britain: Glorious, and with a great past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but opento meeting new people.

After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

Between 3 and 80, he is like North Korea: Ruled by nuts

Introduction :If I think it is funny...I will post it.
I do not always make sense, and I hardly ever take myself seriously. Do so at your own risk.

thanking you

Atul Sikrai
Chief Humour Officer
Satango Silk