U Got Rejected ?

Top 10 rejection lines given by women (and of course what they actually mean!) 
1) "I think of you as a brother." - You have the sex appeal of a Franciscan monk. 
2) "There is a slight difference in our ages." - You are positively Jurassic. 
3) "I'm not attracted to you in that way." - The bulge in your trousers is just not big enough. 
4) "My life is too complicated right now." - I'm bonking seve...ral better-looking guys already. 
5) "I need some freedom to find my own space." - I want the freedom to find someone to fill my space. 
6) "I don't date men where I work." - I never date TWO men in the same office, because I'd get caught. 
7) "It's not you, it's me." - It's not me it's you! 
8) "I'm concentrating on my career." - Boring and unfulfilling as my job is, it is better than dating you. 
9) "I've decided to be celibate."- I'm already shagging someone else. 
10) "Let's be friends." - I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have Rex with!


Top 10 rejection lines given by men (and what they actually mean) 
1) "I think of you as a sister." - You're ugly. 
2) "There's a slight difference in our ages." - You're ugly. 
3) "I'm not attracted to you in that way." - You're ugly. 
4) "My life is too complicated right now." - You're ugly. 
5) "I've got a girlfriend." - You're ugly. 
6) "I don't date women where I work." - You're ugly. 
7) "It's not you, it's me." - You're ugly. 
8) "I'm concentrating on my career." - You're ugly. 
9) "I'm celibate." - You're ugly. 
10) "Let's be friends." -- You're really ugly


Keep Laughing


Always Happy to Make You Laugh !


Atul Sikrai
Chief Humour Officer
Satango Silk

I Love My India

A very Good story of our life .....
WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER..
A Bitter Reality
As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in
Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the
land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it
was as if a dream had come true.
Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I
would be staying in this country for about Five years in which
time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.
My father was a government employee and after his retirement,
the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.
I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling
homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and
speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone
cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and
pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange
rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.
Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have
only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within
these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight.
Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for
all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be
talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through
all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting
shorter I was forced to select one candidate.
In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get
married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After
the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some
money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after
them, we returned to USA.
My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she
started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India
increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our
savings started diminishing.
After two more years we started to
have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us
by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked
me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.
Every year I decide to go to India… But part work part
monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting
India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a
message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I
couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The
next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there
was no one to do the last rights the society members had done
whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed
away without seeing their grand children.
After couple more years passed away, much to my children's
dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down.
I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my
savings were short and the property prices had gone up during
all these years. I had to return to the USA...
My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to
stay in India... My 2 children and I returned to USA after
promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.
Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an
American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that
had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India... I
had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a
well-developed locality.
Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is
for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife
has also left me and gone to the holy abode.
Sometimes
I wondered was it worth all this?
My father, even after staying in India,
Had a house to his name and I too have
the same nothing more.
I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.
Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing.
This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these
children are losing their values and culture because of it. I
get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well
at least they remember me.
Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will
be performing my last rights, God Bless them.
But the question
still
remains 'was all this worth it?'
I am still searching for an answer.................!!!
START THINKING
IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???
LIFE IS BEYOND THIS ….., DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ……!!!!
START LIVING IT …….!!!

To Motivate others Share,Like &  Forward it....

Thanking You

Atul Sikrai

Geo Logic

The Geography of a Woman (and of a Man)


Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
...
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: Gently aging, but still a warmand desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Britain: Glorious, and with a great past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but opento meeting new people.

After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 3 and 80, he is like North Korea: Ruled by nuts

Introduction :If I think it is funny...I will post it.
I do not always make sense, and I hardly ever take myself seriously. Do so at your own risk.

thanking you

Atul Sikrai
Chief Humour Officer
Satango Silk

Kids Rock !

The following proverbs were collected by a first grade teacher over

the years. She gave her classes part of an old proverb and let them

fill in the rest.

As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You........ Mess It Up.

Better Be Safe Than........ Punch A 5th Grader.

Strike While The........ Bug Is Close.

It's Always Darkest Before........ Daylight Savings Time.

Never Under Estimate The Power Of........ Termites.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water But....... How?

Don't Bite The Hand That........Looks Dirty.

No News Is........Impossible.

A Miss Is As Good As A........ Mr.

You Can't Teach An Old Dog New........ Math.

If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll........Stink In The

Morning.

Love All, Trust........Me

The Pen Is Mightier Than The........Pigs.

An Idle Mind Is........ The Best Way To Relax.

Where There's Smoke, There's........ Pollution.

Happy The Bride Who........ Gets All The Presents!

A Penny Saved Is........ Not Much.

Two's Company, Three's........The Musketeers.

Don't Put Off Tomorrow What........You Put On To Go To Bed.

Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And......You Have To

Blow Your Nose.

None Are So Blind As........ Helen Keller.

Children Should Be Seen And Not........ Spanked Or Grounded.

If At First You Don't Succeed........ Get New Batteries.

You Get Out Of Something What You........ See Pictured On The

Box.

When The Blind Leadeth The Blind........Get Out Of The Way.

There Is No Fool Like........Aunt Eddie.

Keep Laughing

Always yours

Atul Sikrai

Chief Humor Officer

Satango Silk

Stay Kool

Once there was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. 

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.

The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this

one.” You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m

sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time

you are tempted to say something you will regret later.

Enjoy the day with decreasing anger :)

Stay Kool & Happy

Regards

Atul Sikrai

Chief Humour Officer

Satango Silk

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE (MUST TRY)

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE (MUST TRY)

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour

* 1 stick butter

* 1 cup of water

* 1 tsp baking soda

* 1 cup of sugar

* 1 tsp salt

* 1 cup of brown sugar

* Lemon juice

* 4 large eggs

* Nuts

* 2 bottle wine

* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Smash 2 eggs and add the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the f...ging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets struck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, shift two cups of salt. Or somethering. Check the wine again. Now shift the lemon juice and stain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, frow the bowl frough the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.

Go to Tesco and buy cake.

Bingle Jells!

That's Why

Satango Rocks !!

 

Rules That Guys Wished Girls Knew

Rules That Guys Wished Girls Knew

1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2) Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.

3) Don't cut your hair. Ever.

4) Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can
find the perfect present!

5) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

6) Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

7) Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and monster trucks.

8) Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every
other cat.

9) Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

10) Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

11) Shopping is not sport.

12) Anything you wear is fine. Really.

13) You have enough clothes.

14) You have too many shoes.

15) Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

16) Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot, and your dad's
way past idiot.

17) Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

18) No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on
a calendar.

19) Pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range.
We're bound to miss sometimes.

20) Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

21) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

22) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

23) Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

24) Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

25) Check your oil.

26) Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

27) Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

28) It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

29) Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All
comments become null and void after 7 days.

30) If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

31) If something we said can be interpreted makes you sad and angry, we
meant the other one.

32) Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty
you are?

33) Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

34) You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it
done-but not both.

35) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

36) Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

37) Women wearing Wondercras and low-cut slouses lose their right to
complain about having their soobs stared at.

38) Consider golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.

39) Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes
you look jealous and petty, and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading
the magazines.

40) The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months

    we were going out.

Just Chill
Atul Sikrai
Chief Humor Officer
Satango